Beauty - terrible force The outward appearance is largely determined by mental state, the role of vitamins for which the humor and laughter. Exercises Laughter, causing short-term, but numerous muscle tension, beneficially affect the face, eyes, organs of the abdomen and waist. There is a growing blood supply to the skin, which leads to improved color and condition hair.

The following training can improve your appearance. The effectiveness of exercise increases with systematic. However, we advise not to overdo it, remember that beauty – a terrible force!

Those who wish to use below coaching recall that the administration MyBeauty any responsibility for what is not.

JOKES to the office in windose in the Control Panel and select the mouse to place a maximum speed of double clicking, while 80% of double-clicking will not receive, and because to change the parameters of "victim" did not know she would think that the left mouse button is broken. Ibid, place a maximum speed of movement of the mouse. Very funny, and most importantly, is likely to return the previous value will have a keyboard, but it is not so simple. "His Majesty Megabytes' * * Humiliation * nick! Must do so:

– Until the user does sit down at his computer

– Davim PrintSrceen

– Open the Start-> Accessories-> Paint (Graphic editor)

– Davim Shift.Insert

– Keeping in c: windowsPRIKOL.bmp

– Go to "Display Properties"

– Making "Prikol.bmp" background image

– Select all the icons on the desktop and utaskivem their off-screen

– You can remove an additional "toolbar"

Unfortunately the user sits down at his car and shook him to the usual icons … …. and the icons do not cling! Hanging? It is necessary to reboot! It did not help! It will help only the "ordering of the icons on …" and restoration of the background! Here it is! Computer lottery "Because of a rare combination of factors was performed a few times. Selects the victim on the following grounds:

– Fairly long and lasting "tail" in the mouse (to eliminate undesirable effects);

– A chair on wheels should be easy to ride;

– Possibly a big distraction of the victim;

– Desirable "podstolny" version of location system unit;

Preparation during the absence of the victim lasts about a minute:

– If there is such the same mouse, as the victim, but not working it is better to use it ("normal" mouse hides, for example, monitor), but if not, then come and "normal". In the case of "regular" mouse is fixed tail mouse around the system unit (so as not to tear accidentally – is fraught with failure or mouse, or COM-port);

– Slide in a chair under the table;

– With a piece of rope tied to a chair mouse tail so that the mouse was on his usual place, and the tail was almost in negative allowance, but vydviganii chair mouse does not drop the table, and do not break away from the computer connector.

When a victim comes to the workplace and sees pushed a chair, then the first thing doing? That's right, put forward a chair. The mouse runs away from the victim … My first reaction – and sometimes neponyatka stupor. The second – a sharp tug on the mouse itself – pulls a chair and knocked the victim under the knees. Then either plyuhanie on a chair with a stupefied air, or otpihivanie chair with his knees and "tug of war" (the poor mouse!) And then plyuhanie. "Computer drawing 2 drawing pretty old, but begins to nick it is quite possible to play, and sometimes it can be kupitsya an experienced programmer:). The idea is this: wait, where prizes depart for any reason from the computer, then open on the desktop, any application, such as "Laser Player" or a folder, but not on the screen, and somewhere in the center (better so that the window did not fall on the icons on the desktop). A click on the Print Screen key on your keyboard and close the application. Then open a graphics editor Paint and choose from the menu "Insert". Screenshot from the screen is loaded into the editor. Save it somewhere in C: WINDOWS, under any name and choose "Fill the desktop Windows". Close the Paint, now as a wallpaper image is being played by his own desktop with the open window in the middle:).Seeing this, the victim tries to close the window (of course, failed) and eventually to the words "Again Vinda hung!!! %#@^%$#" Reboots the machine. And what will be her surprise when the hated box appears on the screen again Regards, Maxim. "Raffle with a pot, pour water in a saucepan, rose above a sheet of paper turned upside down, placed on a flat floor, or even better table, the paper comes out. Water does not. The victim sees orphan (interfere), and raises the pot with a clear result. Alternatively, instead of pots taken liter glass jar for 3-5 and put where it would interfere with a potential victim who sees the water and just have to puzzle over how to treat with the least casualties. The most difficult to remove from the floor. Nasschet sticking slippers to the floor, rugs, sewing blankets to the mattress in a sleeping friend and I can not speak. Office version – the same principle, but, for example, with an opaque cup on the table favorite secretary. MISCELLANEOUS DRAWS drawing with a drill "means this: We are looking for an object for fun, take a power drill and a couple of times run it in front of the object, in order to get his attention … Then we go behind his back, puts a power drill and stick a finger in the back of the object … When I did this, I first jumped on 2 meters, then retreated about 30 minutes drawing a squash caviar "Working in his time as an instructor at a camp site in the Altai Mountains, we sometimes do this: With hikers stopped for lunch. At this time, the instructor goes 500 meters down the track and threw the team on the way down the bank squash caviar, pasted on her scraps of toilet paper. Group relaxing, overlooking the route. The instructor is not ahead, but somewhere in the middle. When a moving disgust transcend through this pile, the instructor pushing away customers, with a scream SVEZHATINA !!!!!!!! pulls out a spoon and scattered pieces of paper starts to eat. The effect is striking. "Educational lottery." We must say at once that this joke over at the time, do so gradually and has one positive effect: developing a "victim" Comedy accuracy. Well, then, choose a man who is always with you (wife, husband, brother, sister-in-law, mother-in-law, father, mother, etc.). Prerequisite is the distraction of this man. That is, he is an excellent candidate for the draw, if ever forgets the most unexpected places their minor things – glasses, hair clips, gloves, combs, etc.

Of course, that very often he is looking for them and all around pesters questions like "you have not seen my glasses (wallet, keys, …)?". This is where you, as a good Samaritan, and advise him to look at some inopportune to search place. For example, I advise you to look in the freezer:) Of course, that "the victim" realizes that over it fun watching and listening to your advice. But after a dozen such a precedent, this phrase has already crashed into her memory, and when all the places searched, but lost a thing and not found, it begins to look in the refrigerator.

So only then we can assume that the foundation was prepared for fun and you can start your joke. Once you discover a forgotten thing in the wrong place "victim", you take and put this thing to where you are advised to look for her. Sooner or later the "victim" begins to search for and, lo and behold, she finds it right where y
ou are and put it:) Of course, not knowing how this thing was there, "victim" is finally beginning to search for precisely that point. Now imagine the reaction of others, watching as the "victim" in the search for lost combs rummaging in the fridge … As an alternative, this thing can find other people, and absolutely puzzled how she could find yourself TAM, return it to "sacrifice" with words like, "You … The positive effects of this prank is that sooner or later the" victim " begins to monitor their belongings and not leave them in random places. "With crackers" In my childhood friends, we played the neighbors well. swatter tied to the railings and door handles and ring the bell. The result can be observed through the peephole – just do not bust with laughter not to get caught.Typically, neighbors within an hour or two then hid behind the door, and every five minutes, ran outside, hoping to catch the pranksters. "From the thread" I do not try (describing the story). In the bed of the victim under the sheet zigzag method laid thread. The other end extends out the door so that when pulling a string does not rise and it was not visible. When night falls victim to the bed, a string of quietly comes out (feeling shimmering insect) "Drawing Kurganskii gasman" We gasman go to call with suitcases. Choosing a colleague, we sacrifice, and a secret from him tightly trampling down his suitcase with dry leaves. After receiving a call, he grabs his bag (with leaves) and runs away. Arriving at the usual place in the kitchen, puts the suitcase on the table and make sure the hand opens … … picture is scary: all over the kitchen fly leaves, we have it compacted there …. All the details of "falling leaves in the kitchen at the client" sends us a partner of the victim, who is always up to date. "Drawing with trousers" My friend asked one of her friend hemmed jeans (quite expensive). And as hem had a lot (it's small and fat) it asked for extra fabric to cut. We have measured them with much shorter, and my girlfriend went to her home to cut and sew. The next day I and my friend together with shortened jeans went to this friend. They came, gave the jeans and asked immediately died. This friend goes into the next room, puts on jeans there, and after some time returns in terrible disarray. It turns out that both leg shorter than the need to see 20: such things have turned out breeches. My friend, when he sees it, falls on the sofa in predobmarochnom condition – she had spoiled his pants and her such, and for two months did not earn. And suddenly I see that this one starts to laugh – it is simply bent into the trousers. Above us, he, of course, playing a practical joke, but now my friend had even a handkerchief hem not take. And she, hearing the word "hem" was the start. "Phone for current" Call someone and ask, that would not answer phone calls within 10 minutes, because line telephone operator and his works can strike shock. A few minutes later calls back to the same phone numbers, and if you pick up the phone, publishes a bloodcurdling scream … .. "Drawing with matches" Let me describe in a short story. Almost a year ago, in late September (and for greater effect is needed summer, early autumn or late-spring month) came to see me buddy. Since the day prior was the birthday of my younger sisters, the mood among us was terribly playful, we are always joking, laughing without a reason … The boy showed us different foci. With maps. My sister was always the victim build:)) Then he said: "Matches let. Well, we found him a box of matches. Then he asks sestruhi: "Natalya, you want more focus show? She rejoiced, as a child! Another would be so much attention. "I want!" – Screams. Then he ordered her to stand in the middle of the kitchen. Carefully planted on a match by each of sneakers so that they are almost completely out from under him peeping. Then he asked to pull out his hands and gave another to a match in each hand. She held them to two fingers, heads down, gracefully sticking baby fingers. My friend sat down. Critically looked at standing alone Natalia with matches, chuckled with satisfaction. Natasha smiled happily with matches in hand. Then he asked her: "Natasha, now a month?" She frantically recalling: "- Oct. … uh-uh .. September!". "- Then why are you skiing ?????" Silence. Then there was Natasha laugh! I laughed too, like a horse, because Natasha, bending and stuttering, holding his hands outstretched, Match heads down and little finger sticking out. It was a story on the topic, how did the lottery.

Now try to describe it in detail: In the snow-free season, in close company (better if the joke know as little as possible to the people) choose the victim. Put her in the middle of something (room, kitchen, barn, forest clearing, the lake – where actually all gathered). Request to pull out his arms, and in each hand, between thumb and forefinger to give the match head down. And then one more match to put a toe shoe or shoes so that more than half of matches stuck forward. And ask:

– What is now a month?

– …….. – Said cheerfully sacrifice.

– Why do you ski ?????

The effect simply amazing!! For a few minutes of laughter guaranteed! "C button" Start "" It is essential that the computer was Windows 9x. We wait until the victim working at the computer, absents himself somewhere for a minute or more. Quickly run up to the computer, click Ctrl + Esc, Esc, Alt + "-" (ie, press the Alt key and -), Alt + F4. As a result disappears the Start button. She appears only after you restart Windows. As a user of the computer will produce a reset depends on his knowledge. But the result is quite entertaining, especially if the victim is not familiar with computers. "Matches and soot," I greet you, Natalia. That's funny, with the matches. Is desirable in some public place (eg, at school, college or institute). Burn 10-15 matches (preferably completely). One fun watching rubbing their palms. Accordingly, his hands all black, and the victim is desirable to skip. Next, this same sacrifice to choose. Approach her and offer to show focus. For example, piercing match the knee of the victim. You say that for the execution of this focus, the victim to close his eyes, and that he was not spying, his eyes, you close your hands. Then your assistant tries in vain to pierce the knee with a match, of course, nothing turns out, the match is broken. You like to ferklempted telling the victim that did not work. But his face Gervais is quite black:) Of course, a pretext for closing the eyes can also find your own. With best wishes. "Six draws from Alexa 1. Above the sleeping man stretched sheets, it gently awakened with the words for example:" Andrei-ah … The ceiling is falling. "Some very scared ..

2. Mouse button you can swap in the settings windows.

3. Once I was riding a bicycle somewhere on business. He was dressed in old clothes. Then I heard a shot (it was the exhaust shot some Zaporozhets). I just stopped and fell like a stone dead. Those who saw it were shocked.

4. Boots (strangers) can be nailed to the wall while sleeping owner.

5. When you are alone with another run to catch a trolley bus – you can barely keep up and shouted at the top of his voice: "Gad, give purse! .." Alternatively, to put it mildly embarrassed.

6. Neighbor awakened by the bed you can put a basin of cold water. With breadcrumbs "Heh-heh:) Cool though! Here's another: with bread crumbs. Under the sheet on the mattress sypyatsya fresh bread crumbs, a watch from heat 2-3 person they dry, well and more … all the fun! "With the film" At any party bulbs out in a bathroom, a toilet seat pulling plastic wrap (if it's good to tighten, then the bulb can not twist, it i
s still not visible). Until next time ties. "With a brick" Hello everyone, this student brought into memories … The departing student dorm neatly in your bag put a brick (or 2 depending on the strength of the object). Then it was home, he will tell you if there is a sense of humor. .. "Zoo" Here's another joke. A in the form of the game with friends. game is called "Trip to the zoo." It is important that he knew 1-2 people. (they automatically become the lead). Each party to "game" is called any animal (very quiet, so that the others had not heard). Everyone stands in a circle and hold hands. Each explained that once pronounce the name of his animal, he must quickly sit on the floor in the "fifth point". A its neighbors in the circle must not allow to do so. Casters are beginning to talk about his trip to the zoo, and gradually reach the desired name of the animal. Meaning prank – planning ahead for each one and the same animal. And the whole circle of friendly plunk down on the floor. Then they all go, laughing and something rubbing … "With squash caviar" Necessary entourage – all the same sacramental caviar actually performers and the final stop, where everybody goes. The performers come out does not mean that they choose the seat and spread posimpatichnee go above mentioned eggs. Then safely choose their place, sit and wait. Finally, the driver opens the door, the people in a multitude comes, everyone wants to sit down, but – horrors! – insanitation Naturally, the seat is not occupied, there are no more seats, the people of the crowd and indignant "to what country brought quite conscience? ".At the crucial moment should come to the scene, ask all innocently: "And you that will not sit down?" Well, as you want …", then that tells a fantasy. The effect of killing and incredibly interesting in terms of mob psychology. "JOKES BY PHONE Call a friend to friend, anyone, preferably postural evening and asked:

-Do you have hot water?

-There!

v-Then quickly wash up and sleep! * * * * * * THIS ПРИКОЛ on my caller ID. Picks up, hearing only the Loud music (is desirable hip hop or something of that sort), through the music:

– Hello, hello, wait, I hear nothing .. (in a whisper, MUSIC decreases). Breathless voice says: this is still HOZYAKI NO, I entertain, talk, after short beep …. Bastard MY pin NAZVANIVAYUT AND EVERY FIVE MINUTES PROBABLY SHOULD CHANGE Vacation … "Anonymous * * * At the voice mail recorded message:" Hello, You are talking to an answering machine …….. (substitute what is his name). I can not answer the phone, leave a message after the beep (served high sound, such as a clock). (wait 10 sec.) Slow down – I write. " After 3-week vacation, I first listened to the message. After the last word "subscribers" forgets what to say, but hysterically bellow. 'ES' * * * * * * Once the first of April in my house was full of guests. Suddenly the phone rang and an unfamiliar voice said, with a threat: "Either you are all coming to us, or we're going, and going to you." Everyone understood that this is an April Fool's joke, but on all accounts ah hour and a half peeking out the window. "Anton" * * * * * * I have in the past year put in the mailbox to your friends a fake phone bill for 5000 rubles, and because the owner a week earlier was easy "nirvana", and his relatives have been abroad, and the codes I put the relevant, the result was there … "Foxy" * * * * * Jokes On arming … For those who have a cellphone with the necessary functions … In general, bet you are not redirected to an answering service, as usual, but on any type of telephone 02, that I'm going to do this year. Shock of the people, the caller's number on a boyfriend / girlfriend and gets on the girl, serious and stern voice, declaring that you are in a "militia", orgomneyshy "Shady" * * * * * Call to any body without definition, and say: Excuse me, I am your neighbor one floor below, your sausage fell on my balcony, go down and remove it! The reaction is guaranteed "Strike" * * * * * Call a friend on the mobile phone and metallic voice say:

– Your debt for telephone calls is $ 2000.

– Please pay a fee to another phone will be disconnected. "Athanasius" * * * * * Call someone and ask, that would not respond to telephone calls within 10 minutes, because line telephone operator and his works can strike shock. A few minutes later calls back to the same phone numbers, and if you pick up the phone, publishes a bloodcurdling scream. * * * * * Call "Hello, this corner Durova? You need a talking horse?" Do not hang up, you know how hard it is to recruit a hoof! * * * * * Choose an arbitrary telephone number, writing down on paper, calling 4 times. In the first times (error)

-Hello, Vasya pozavite please:

The second time (surprise)

– Vasya please!

The third time (anger)

– Call Vasya, please:

And the fourth degree (oh. ….)

-Hello, this is Vasya, I'm nobody called? "Strike" Clever idea, one smile 1. Dup – is a special morphology matepii, which was then not arise from nowhere and does not disappear anywhere, but only pepehodit from one head to one another in.

2. Skpomnoe silence the best argument in spope to guide Deco.

3. N / complain about life, could not be like this.

4. Man fopmipuet not only speda, but one another in the days of the week.

5. I'm not mistaken, if not why not tell.

6. Had such a mindset that even though stopozha hiring.

7.Luchshe a horrible end than endless horror.

8. To extract from the mistakes of his past upoki, that are essential not to confuse them with victories.

9. Hichto so facilitates understanding of a carrot as ppyanik.

10. The main drawback of mind – there is none.

11. When no a handy target without stpelyayut ppomaha.

12. The better you know your mepu, so is difficult to abide by it.

13.Deceptive appearance trace is nepkasivoy.

14. Life is kposs, which is free in every stpemitsya vypvatsya vpeped to ppiyti to finish last.

15. Clock speed of the running with 61 minutes per hour.

16. Seize the zhabpy can only who got bitten.

17. Beware the bite of the man who eats his eyes.

18. In the dining room to prepare food for complaints.

19. Ppeimuschestvo strength lies in the fact that she pposchayutsya weakness.

20. No points are slightly explains latitudes do not fit into view.

21. Ppishel, saw and walked away.

22. Man was created in the last day tovopeniya, when God already tired.

23. For the human genus is its main ppodolzhenie.

24. Most ppiyatnoe in children – a process have their ppoizvodstva.

25. Do not happens poloho that could not be worse.

26. Sepeznoe person has not yet FEATURE profound intellect.

27. Best order of magnitude that that an order of magnitude higher.

28. To wear glasses, not enough to be intelligent, have yet to see the bad.

29. All that successfully skladuvaetsya, ends in failure.

30. Decide now, though, there is no two-fold for of fast.

31. Everyone errs in mepu its capabilities.

32. Better to compromise the efficiency zavtpa than today! (Slogan)

33. Man – this is the Intermediate link in evolution, you need to create the wedding tvopeniya substantiated – pyumki brandy and lemon wedges.

34. Gentlemen – man, and the eccentricity ppiglasiv girl to his home posmotpet gpavyupy shows her gpavyupy.

35. Gentlemen – this is the cat who svegda call a cat, even if he stumbled on it and fell.

36. Hekotopye shy women such that men feel free to refuse.

37. If he saw a man, a woman lowers her eyes, then he tol
d her npavitsya, and if a woman saw a man lowers his eyes, that means he npavyatsya her legs.

38. If a woman is not a rule, you should apologize and shut up.

39. If you want to wife you did not change, do not marry.

40. "And if I go on the flawless functioning" – I thought, and went not.